What Grinds My Gears: Nickelback

Music has long been a staple of society. There was once a time when being a musician meant years of sacrifice, cut-throat competition, and (God for-fucking-bid) massive amounts of talent. Today, all you apparently need is a guitar and some facial hair and you are automatically a musician. Some bands still pour their heart and soul into their music...some just throw together some half-ass riffs and say a few useless things in a raspy voice. Nickelback is most certainly the latter.

First of all, the actual instrument players are like sorority girls who wont put out...they exist, but who cares. The band could be three autistic koalas rubbing sticks against Coke bottles, as long as the mindless listeners of pop music hear Chad Kroeger's raspy voice, they will suck up every ounce of Nickelback's proverbial musical vomit.

So people like Chad's distinctive (not to be confused with distinguished) voice... Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but no one can deny that Nickelback songs are void of life. Every damn thing they sing about is like a boring conversation with a pot dealer. It's usually a twenty second story stretched into 3 minutes.

Actual Possible Nickelback Lyrics
(to the tune of "Burn it to the Ground)

Red light
it's alright
Thinkin' 'bout turning right

wanna go
gotta show
gonna make their minds blow

it's safe
accelerate
goin' right can't wait!

Chorus
The Light turned green!
You know what I mean!
My turning signal told you where I'm turning my machine!
No more waiting at the corner for me tonight!



The worst part is that it is not far fetched to insinuate that Nickelback would write the same song twice with different lyrics...THEY EFFING DID IT ALREADY!!! Put headphones on and listen to the video below. "How You Remind Me" is in the left speaker and "Someday" is in the right.

Q E Mother fucking D!!!!