Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?

TAIPEI (Reuters) - A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit his penis as sat on the toilet at his rural home, local media reported on Monday.

"As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up," the China Times said. "When he looked down, he saw the big snake."

The 51-year-old man, from Nantou County, was under medical care with minor injuries, a director at Puli Christian Hospital said.

"As soon as he has passed the risk of infection, he can go," the director, who declined to be named, said. "A snake's mouth isn't always clean."

Local television images showed the black and yellow reptile, reportedly a species of rat snake, being uncoiled and plucked slowly from the toilet bowl.

Snakes regularly enter rural homes in Taiwan and other sub-tropical regions of Asia.

(Reporting by Ralph Jennings; Editing by Nick Macfie and Miral Fahmy)

NEW SEGMENT: The BOOSH Discussion Panel

Here ye here ye! The first convention of the Boosh Discussion Panel is now in session. Please take your seats as this new segment will commence shortly. The BOOSH Discussion Panel will be a weekly event in which one BOOSHologist will pose a question relating to something of interest in the world and we will have a formal posting of arguments from our other BOOSHologists. Eventually we will open the floor up to our faithful following (that being all of you!!) to answer lifes most difficult questions. Populate your questions now and we will begin this week with our first question! See us at http://www.thebooshinternational.freeforums.org/

NEW SEGMENT: Joe the Plumber Watch

Ladies and Gentlemen, today we unveil the latest and greatest from the BOOSH Research and Development Labs. THE JOE THE PLUMBER WATCH. If you remember back to the early days of the Boosh International, we posted an editorial about Joe and his forays into Politics and Sociology. Well, we have noticed that slowly, and undercurrent of Joe The Plumber references in the news has risen in the past few months. Alarmed that this could jeopardize your rights as Americans and the very fabric of this nation we love, we at the Boosh have decided to create a watch center....staffed with dozens of the nations top analysts and political strategists, we will work in 24 hour 7 day a week shifts to bring you the most up-to-date reporting on the activities of Joe The Plumber so you and your children can rest easy. The steadfast dedication of The Boosh International will keep you in the know and safe from all harm. Look for our first reports soon!

Survival++: The Swine Flu

In the 14th Century the Black Plague claimed between 75 and 200 million lives. Though disputed this number would translate into roughly 50% of the European population.

In the 16th Century almost the entire Inca empire was eradicated by smallpox as a result of the Spanish Conquest of the New World.

The Third Pandemic, started in China in the middle of the 19th century, spreading plague to all inhabited continents and killing 10 million people in India alone. During this pandemic, the United States saw its first case of plague in 1900 in San Francisco.

Today, The Swine flu, also known as H1N1 has claimed the lives of 3 Americans as of May 10th. These deaths were attributed to the lack of medical attention to the flu virus. MY GOD PEOPLE IT MUST BE JUDGMENT DAY!!!!!!!!

For several weeks now the major news organizations have completely ignored ongoing global and economic woes to maintain a tight watch on the ever growing Swine "pandemic". Because we care, The Boosh International is here to give you some much needed advice on how to weather this apocalyptic outbreak.

In order to understand how to survive we must first learn the symptoms of the killer N1H1, they are as follow:

-Body aches, especially joints and throat
-Mild coldness and fever
-Fatigue
-Headache
-Irritated watering eyes
-Reddened eyes, skin (especially face), mouth, throat and nose
-Mild Vomiting and diarrhea

Compare that to the Black Plagues wimpy symptoms that included but were not limited to (BY ANY MEANS), intense high fever, vomiting of feces, and bloody exposed boils that burst with sewage-smelling puss as your nervous system shut down, we would have been so lucky to live in 14th Century Europe.

The first thing you need to do in preparation to survive is buy a good box of Kleenex. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THEM WITH ALOE!!!! Seriously, if you go the bargain route and by the 95 cent boxes of tissues from your local bulk goods store you will pay with a red, chaffed,horribly unattractive nose caused by the sandpaper quality of the tissue! Also, hot tea is a must, preferably the kind you buy at a specialty store that is organic, contains herbs from a country that has had at least 2 social revolutions, and comes in a recyclable box. You must pay top dollar for this tea but hey, you want to LIVE!! Taking Zinc supplements is also advisable but more important than any of the above it this, and pay attention, this could be the difference between life and death.....are you ready?????


you sure????

PRACTICE BASIC HYGIENE! Wash your hands before you eat and after you go to the bathroom. Cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze. And for Christs bloody sake dont double dip at the dinner party!!

Now you can prepare all you want and still catch this deadly hog killer. If you should be so unfortunate be prepared to fight an uphill battle of mild discomfort, reasonably high temperatures, a soar throat that isn't that different from when you were in grade school, and possibly mild vomiting and dry heaving. This torment could last up to a week with treatment. Oh and treatment is getting your ass in your car and going to the doctor for an antibiotic prescription.

All I can say is pray and stay safe. Turn on CNN, FOX NEWS, MSNBC, LOU DOBBS, ANDERSON 360, WOLF BLITZER'S SITUATION ROOM, THE GLENN BECK SHOW, HANNITY, BBC, AL JAZEERA, REUTERS, OR ANY OTHER for details and updates. God speed fellow Booshers. Make your peace now, for tomorrow we all may be......on our couch watching re-runs of Family Guy and eating chicken soup......

Chai T

Vintage Boosh 10

What Grinds My Gears: Diagonal Walkers

I don't mind sharing pavement with pedestrians. It is totally understandable that, sometimes, a person needs to get to the other side of a street, I've done it a few times myself. I will follow MY end of the bargain and not run you over if you follow YOURS and get out of my way as quickly as possible, because let's face it... I am graciously sharing the road, a place where you have no business being. As you make your way across the street, my anger increases exponentially, as depicted in Figure 1.

Figure 1: Get Out of My Way vs. Pissed Off-ness

Notice that around 3.5 "Murderous Tendancy Units" we reach the "Action Threshold" and cross into the "Rectangle of Hospitalization." This is the point where I may get a crazy spasm in my legs and arms causing me to accidently push the clutch, shift into first and floor it! Even the elderly usually make it across the street clear of the threshold.

On to the inconsiderate dicks... FIRST OF ALL, if you are crossing diagonally, you are not in your designated crosswalk. I DO NOT LIKE TO SHARE MY PART OF THE ROAD WITH YOU!!!! Stay in your designated five-foot-wide space. Congrats, you have already pissed me off and lowered the Action Threshold. I'll spare you the mathematics, but if we look in Figure 2, forty-five degrees of inconsiderate behavior, in conjunction with the out-of-crosswalk shenanigans, puts the average pedestrian comfortably into the Rectangle of Hospitalization.

Figure 2: Diagonal Walking

Whether it's the "Greasy-haired White Trash," the "Middle-aged Spoiled Trophy Wife," or even the "Whateva-I-Do-What-I-Want Teeny Boppers" remember, you are borrowing MY road... and if you Grind my Gears by walking diagonally, you are gambling with your worthless life!