What Piracy needs.....Is me!!

Some music to set the mood:

Without a doubt you are all familiar with the headlines reading of the bothersome and down right dangerous coast of Somalia where 'pirates' are hijacking ships and holding people for ransom. For the first time in a Century 'pirate' has once again become a household term. But this is a very disturbing thing to me. You see, back in the day, the mention of pirates made men shake with fear and envy, and made the nether regions of women tingle with mystery and delight. But today the mention of pirates conjure up thoughts of malnourished teenagers who smell like sewage and gallivant around in small fishing boats waving automatic guns....unacceptable!!!! The time is upon us to recapture the pirate name!! So join me in my conquest to return pirating to its rightful place of rum swilling high sea adventuring swagger inducing badassery!!

THE PLAN:
-Meet at JFK international airport at a time to be later specified.
-Board a plane to the island of St. Martin
-Steal a large replica ship from the 18th Century
-Arm ourselves with traditional weapons, rum, and clothing to the effect of Black Beard
-Locate an uninhabited island with a deep lagoon

THE REQUIREMENTS:
-Be willing to follow the plan
-Be open to heavy drinking
-Be open to copious amounts of sinful activity including but not limited too looting, pillaging, killing, sword fighting, unprotected acts of intercourse, and yelling profanity from the yard arm.

In no time the headlines will read: "'Pirates of the Caribbean' Comes to Life" New group returns piracy to its sexy nature!" We will drown out the Somalis

Undoubtedly we will be forced to take on a multi-national naval task force, but fear not, for our allure will protect us, CNN will read "...in other news, entire platoon of SEALS jump ship to join roving gang of swaggering swashbuckling pirate studs"

We will once again leave a legacy that Piracy is truly a calling for the brave adventure-seeking lads that live inside all of us. So stand together and say no to Somalia and yes to escapades of captain morgan induces jackassery the like of which the world has never seen....to the high seas ye mateys!!!!!!!