"Then there's Denny"

I saw this on Reddit this morning and it was too good not to share. The source is an anonymous post on 4chan:

"Okay, back story. I work at a cafe, and above the cafe there are apartments. Most of them belong to drug dealers and those who buy from them. Then there's Denny.

Denny is about 65 now, I believe. He's old, walks barefoot with a cane, wears a straw hat everywhere, and looks like Alan Moore, and usually refers to me as 'Peach.' He's traveled the entire world, twice, and still does. Usually he hitchhikes. He always tells me stories of adventures in exchange for coffee and a brownie.

So, it's winter, and it's been a pretty lazy day. Denny's sipping his coffee. I'm on my laptop when this dude with a horribly fake tan bursts in an demands a coffee. So, I work fast because I can see this dude's in a hurry, when I burn my hand pretty bad spilling some coffee on it. I can hear this dude give out a loud 'UGH.' So, I cool my hand up and give him his coffee, he snatches it from my hand and says the service here sucks. Jerkwad doesn't even pay me, and suddenly Denny's blocking his way out the door.

Denny: 'Scuse me sir, but you haven't payed Peach there for her work.

Jerkwad: Please tell 'Peach' it's not my fault she's clumsy as hell.

Denny: You've misunderstood me, sir. Peach over there works a lot harder than you, and you look like you can spare a dollar.

Jerkwad: Look, just stop blocking the door and I'll be on my way.

Denny holds up the cane, and pulls up the little jewel on top of it. HE HAS A MOTHERFUCKING SWORD IN HIS GODDAMN CANE. And you want to know what he says?

'I've killed better men than you, pay Peach her goddamn dues.'

Jerkwad freads out, runs back to the counter and shoves a fifty on it. Murmurs something like 'Keep the change' and runs out the door. Denny casually sheaths his cane sword, sits back down and orders a refill."