Know What Grinds My Gears? by Chai T

As most 24 year old a year or two out of college i find myself day in and day out rolling my disheveled heap from bed every morning and, while in a coma of sorts, shower, brush my teeth, do my hair, get dressed, and fight traffic all the way to the ol' office. "Now this is all well and good", i comfort myself. I am doing well, good pay, nice apartment, a small dog that annoys me at every wag of his tail, yes its the good life. So as I sit down and begin my day of working hard, responding to emails, and pleasing everyone it begins. While jamming to Say Anything and working on a project the endless precession of smirking faced, awkward 'seniors' come and invite themselves to sit in my company appointed 'guest chair' to look over my shoulder. Initially the inquisitively gaze at my work, nodding a smug sense of approval as though they have any idea what I'm doing and probably thinking wow I wish I could do that. So I take out the head phones, paste on that million dollar smile and greet them as though I would have killed myself that night had it not been for their visit. We chat for awhile about the weather, about coffee, the new stapler, you know, the really interesting things. Then it happens, like a bolt of lightening that strikes an unsuspecting orphan playing with scrap metal in a junk yard; "So Andy, we have the meeting today with the boss and well, I just wanted to see what you've done so we have stuff to talk about and show him". Fan-EFFING-tastic. You (the people that train my desk) are all 30 years my senior, were hired because you are 'experts' in this field, and all consider me a novice. Yet in the 11th hour you slog over to my desk like George Bizet's musical character on your march to the scaffold begging for me to give you some of my brilliant and hard earned work to call it your own. Nay Nay I declare. No more with this corporate cultural norm be had at the hands of me!! I will no longer stand for it. So come hither and beg for work and I shall feed you scraps of meat not fit for the best of rats. And speak of the devil, here comes one now, time to feed the herd. Until next time,

Chai T