Know what really grinds my gears? (Vol 1)

God's Facebook page.

So I get home from work the other day and proceed to crash on my bed. I fill the void of about a half hour between the time I stumble through the door and the time I stumble upstairs to shovel food into my mouth by being a creeper and stalking people on Facebook.

As Im perusing the one million twitter updates that somehow found their way onto facebook of all the people i dont like, never talk to, or have never even met in person, something jumps out from my periphery and hits me like a proverbial head butt from Zinedine Zidane. Its a small thumbnail photo of a cross outlined against a setting sun. The blue link at the top of the pic simply says 'God'. Below the pic, I see the ever important info that 4 of my friends are 'Fans.'

The insanity continues. Right below this, there is another thumbnail picture of Jesus. The page title, 'Jesus'. 5 of my friends are fans.

So we have God: The omnipotent being who spawned creation with a thought and could end it with a whisper. Who is the dew on the grass, the bird in the air etc. etc. and knows all things past present and in the age to come because he exists OUTSIDE OF TIME...

And we have Jesus, the son of God who also happens to be, God. A man born in a barn, living a life of willing abject poverty. Gave sight to the blind, cleansed lepers and cast out EFFING DEMONS with a word and ultimately died the most horrible and gruesome death imaginable to save us from our sins, simultaneously asking forgivness for the douchebags doing it to him and then...this is the crazy part...rose from the dead!

And now, you can give a cyber shout out to two of the three members of the Holy Trinity (because the Holy Ghost was never important anyway) and proudly display yer undying faith right underneath yer Russell Brand fan page and just above the 'I Love Beer Pong' group.

Really?

Is this what modern religion has been reduced to? Once upon a time, enterprising Christians would repeatedly flog themselves as a testament to their faith. Granted, that may have been a little extreme, but you see what im saying here. Imagine if we could go back in time and talk to these zealots....

Facebook User: "No! Wait! Don't flog yerself repeatedly and go 40 days without eating anything but bread and water! Here! All you have to do to show yer faith is click this button, then God can access yer profile, see yer a fan, and Boom! Everlasting salvation is yers!"

Medeival Opus Dei Member: "Whoa...sweet! Imma put down this whip and find me an albino hooker! No wait! Thats insane!....Im taking the whip with me!"

Give me an effing break! If yer really a fan of God, try this on for size: Maybe live yer life in a quasi decent manner. Several books have been written on the subject, you dont have to read them all, just one will do. In the meantime, imma let you in on a secret. If you happen to be one of these people who is a 'Fan' of God on Facebook, dont worry. He still loves you.

But I think yer a douche.